Bed Rest Thoughts

I am going to preface this post by saying, these are my thoughts and my feelings, let me share them with you. I just feel I need to share my thoughts and what keeps me going and some of the things that run through my mind on a daily basis, because of what I am dealing with. I know it is hard to understand fully what I must be going through if you have not been there yourself, so I hope this may help all of the people supporting us to understand a little better.

After my news that I may go back to work, I had a lot of very concerned people question the idea. Here is my response...At this point, where I am in the pregnancy good news is good news, any good news. It did not necessarily mean I would go back to work, I am still going to make the best decision for my baby, but I need the good news to keep me going. With a pregnancy with so many negatives and so many risks, every little piece of good news outweighs any of the negative considerably. I thrive off of the good news right now. I know everyone is worried, but let me have the positive thoughts even if they don't mean anything in the end. It means something that day.

So, to help me explain, I am going to use two books that I have found to be helpful to me especially recently. Here are the citations and below are some pieces from both books.

Deborah, L. et.al. Parenting Your Premature Baby and Child. Golden: Fulcrum Pub, 2004.

Eisenberg, Arlene et.al. What to Expect When You're Expecting. New York: Workman Pub, 1991.

"Entirely unlike "rest," bed rest is very difficult work for both parents. The mother must work at maintaining a troubled pregnancy. The lack of activity can lead to her physical debilitation. The father must take on most of the mother's day-to-day physical tasks, in addition to his own responsibilities..." (Deborah, 2004)

"Another challenge of bed rest is that you view the passage of time differently. Instead of simply waiting for the requisite forty weeks to pass, you begin to count with urgency not weeks, but days, and after the administration of antenatal steroids, hours. You begin to envision your baby's growth during each week of gestation with a new urgency...Instead of gradual preparation for childbirth, you face the threat of imminent delivery. Instead of receiving reassurances, you get furrowed brows and endless warnings to lie down. Questions you might have asked before out of simple curiosity take on a new intensity, and the answers you receive often are not definitive." (Deborah, 2004)

"Bed rest gives you a lot of time to be alone with your thoughts and fears. Even if you try to keep your hopes up, your worries loom large, multiply, and grow more palpable. You may go from hoping that your baby will be cute and easygoing to hoping that your baby will stay alive. And you face the terrible realization that there is so much that cannot be predicted and more that cannot be controlled." (Deborah, 2004)

"While other parents are excitedly preparing for the birth of their baby at the end of nine months, high-risk parents may just be hoping that the fetus they are nurturing will still be alive tomorrow." (Eisenberg, 1991)

"A woman who can't have a "normal" pregnancy may consider herself somehow lacking." (Eisenberg, 1991)

"The high-risk expectant parent often has to keep her pregnancy and its requirments in mind every moment of every day; she'll need to pause almost constantly to ask herself "Can I do this? Is that allowed?" (Eisenberg, 1991)

I hope you understand a little better about what both Matt and I are going through on a daily basis, especially me. It has been so helpful knowing we have so many people to support us and that is why I wanted to share this with you, to give you a little insight into our minds :) I promise, I will make the next post a little less depressing :) I have some ideas that will make you smile.