Memories and Pictures

I am constantly amazed how certain things can spark memories of Ethan's birth. Just the other day I was in a discussion online with some women about how the soap at the hospital brings back a flood of memories for each of us. In my case, it includes the time both Ethan and I were in the hospital. Every memory of being there floods back every time I have to go to the hospital and have washed my hands. It's funny how something as simple as soap can bring back so many memories.

Another example is actually from yesterday. I was watching an old episode of Roseanne, where Darlene brings home her premature baby. The scene where she walks into the house with the baby really got to me. Something as simple as a t.v. show made me break down into tears. It made me remember the feeling of bringing home both Ethan and Micah. It also reminded me of being up in the middle of the night watching the episode where she has the baby, while I was pumping milk for Ethan when he was in the hospital. I still can't believe it made me break down the way it did.

You would think that having a full-term baby would have helped some of those feelings to subside a bit, but obviously it didn't. I can't just forget all of the things we went through with Ethan, just as I will never forget what I went through to get Micah here. One thing I do know is that the memories of what happened with Ethan are getting easier to deal with. At one time, I would have cried for much longer than a couple of minutes. Now, I can shed some tears and move on with whatever I was doing. All I have to do now is look at my two wonderful boys and know that everything we went through was completely worth it. That's where the pictures come in...