Are Dad's Really Useless??

***WARNING...I am going to rant and rave and these are just my thoughts!***

I am so tired of people, literature, t.v. shows, etc. putting Dad's in such a horrible light. I know it may sound funny coming from a woman and a mom, but this frustrates me. Here is what threw me over the edge on this topic...

I received a small magazine from Enfamil in the mail today. It's about 20 pages and has little paragraph sized articles in it. One of the titles was "Make Room for Daddy". So, I read it, as I did with the others. The first two lines are what got me...

Want to get in on a little secret about the daddy-baby bond? Well, you can start by putting Dad on diaper duty.

Then it goes on to say...The more Dad is involved in day-to-day caregiving tasks, the stronger the bond will be...take the night-feeding shift, stroll with the baby in a carrier, or just enjoy playtime.

WHAT?????????

Is it really necessary to have an article tell a mom what to have the dad do? Are there really that many dads that take no part in the caregiving? Am I on an island all to myself that I have a husband that shares equally in the parenting duties? I mean really, does a mom need to be told to make sure her husband plays with the baby so that they can bond?

Since when did babies only bond with their mothers? I am so sick of this whole bonding thing and what it has been made to be about. In the past couple of years since becoming a mom, it has been made very clear that apparently the only way a mother can possibly bond with her child is through breastfeeding, which means that dads can't possibly bond with their child. I really don't believe this theory and this is why...

With Ethan, I could not breast feed, it was not possible with his developmental delays and prematurity. So, according to this theory, I didn't get to bond with him. But, wait, what about me going to the hospital for 88 days and sitting for hours just holding his little fingers through the isolette holes? What about the days that I sat holding a book with one hand and holding his tiny little hand with the other hand while I read to him? What about all the times that once I could hold him, that I sat for hours holding him in my arms and singing to him or telling him about his family and all of the people waiting for him? That just covers me...What about all of the evenings and weekends that Matt spent at the hospital with Ethan doing all of the things I did during the day for that same 88 days? This doesn't even include every single diaper we each changed, the baths we each gave and all of the temperatures we took.

I could not hold my baby for almost 2 weeks after he was born, so does that mean that we didn't bond? NO!!! Ethan and I have an amazing relationship and so do Matt and Ethan. With Micah we did not have the same kinds of things happen, but I again was unable to breast feed him after the first week and that did not stop me from feeling a bond with my baby. I bond with him every single day in every moment I spend with him. I have my own special moments with him and so does Matt. When Matt comes home, he takes time to spend with Micah and Ethan. I don't have a useless husband and father to my children.

We have both always fed, changed, rocked, stayed up with, sung to, danced with and loved our children. Why are dads made out to be these guys that live in the house and take no part in their children's lives? Just look at how dads are portrayed on t.v. and in the movies. Is this why they need to write articles about how a dad can bond with their child? Are dads this dumb??

I have been criticized for not getting up in the middle of the night every time Ethan calls out. You know why? It's because Matt and I both get up. When Ethan is sick, we take turns getting up with him. One of the most recent times, Matt got up with Ethan, while I took the night feedings with Micah. Why should one parent be run down, because the other one is supposed to be dumb when it comes to taking care of the kids?

Matt and I share our parenting duties completely and that means that yes, Matt changes just as many diapers as me and feeds Micah as many times as I do. Even Matt gets offended by the way fathers are portrayed, because that is not at all how he is. I love that my husband is such a caring and loving father and I would never trade the relationship we have with each other and with our children.

To all those dads in the world that seem to be morons when it comes to taking care of their children "Don't forget to spend time with your children!" Or, maybe just stop playing dumb and take your job as dad seriously!