Matt, Lina, Ethan and Micah: Happy 2009!

It really hit me yesterday how much can change in just one year. I seemed to be in complete shock that a whole year had gone by when January of last year seemed so fresh in my mind. Micah was just a thought we had, we knew we wanted to try for a baby and by the end of January I was pregnant. Now I look at this beautiful, healthy baby boy that I have and I am amazed as to how much has changed.

Not only have we added a new member to our family, but we have learned to live our lives with a new appreciation. When I was put on bedrest much earlier than expected, it gave us the opportunity to accept support and help from so many people. People we didn't even really know well were giving us support through prayers, emails, and meals. Our families gave us support through all of those things plus giving me rides to my many doctor's appointments, taking care of Ethan whenever we needed it, and giving Matt help and support when he needed it. Learning to accept any and all help was humbling. It was not easy to do it, because normally we just do things on our own. Having had that experience, I have learned to accept help and I now know that people don't help because they have to, it is because they want to. It has made me want to be more giving and help others "just because". So, one of the things I want to plan on doing in 2009 is to give back in many different ways. I already have so many ideas of how I want to honor those that helped me. One thing I want to do is to give to my church food pantry. I was given food by so many people at my church that I want to give back by donating food to the food pantry. I will also get on the list for making meals for those in need at our church. I also want to make things for the babies and children at the hospital, both the NICU and the children's hospital. All of the people that supported us, helped Micah to not need to be in the NICU, so I want to make some blankets, hats and donate other things to help honor that. I also hope to include the Ronald McDonald House this year.

I have also appreciated all that we went through with Ethan. Last year at this time, I was so scared about the thought of getting pregnant because of what happened with Ethan. Now, I appreciate the difficulties we went through with Ethan, because it has made me appreciate him even more! It really shows me how special he really is now that I have a full-term baby. You can't truly appreciate every single little milestone until you have had to struggle to get to each milestone. One example was getting Ethan to look and make eye contact with someone or something. I remember how much I had to do to get him to do that and right now I am watching Micah staring at his little cow that is hanging above him and he is smiling at it. That makes me smile and brings tears of joy to my eyes. I would have never known the importance of that milestone, had I not gone through what I did with Ethan. I remember that 4 years ago, we had just been told that Ethan had a severe hearing loss and I remember how scared I was for him. Knowing the struggle we had with every hearing test waiting for his hearing to improve over the next 2 1/2 years, has made me appreciate every time Micah turns his head at a sound or to his name. I would have never known how to appreciate those things without Ethan. So, in 2009 I plan to continue to encourage Ethan and show him my appreciation that he is in my life. This is nothing new, it is only heightened because of what I went through this year.

Physically, I have gone through a lot of changes. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea last March and I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes last August. I was on bedrest for 6 months which has changed my body drastically from the chest down! Not only did I gain nearly 50 lbs (luckily about 20 lbs went away after Micah was born), but I have also lost a lot of muscle in my legs and feet, and I have added more back problems. So, with so many physical changes in one year, I have decided that I HAVE to make changes in 2009. I have 2 children that need me to be able to run and play with them and who need me to be alive for them. Because of the sleep apnea, I am at risk of a lot of other problems with my heart and kidneys. Because of the gestational diabetes I will always be at a higher risk of getting type 2 diabetes someday. In order to lessen my risks, I HAVE to lose all of the extra weight I gained, plus another 30lbs or so. In order to gain back strength in my legs, feet and back, I HAVE to exercise regularly. So, in 2009, I plan to work hard at getting into a good workout routine and eating healthier. I have about 60lbs to lose in order to be at a healthy weight. I don't expect to lose it all this year, but I'd like to get a big chunk of it gone and as close to all of it that I can get.

As difficult as this past year was at times, it has opened my eyes to so many things. You'll notice that I didn't say that I was resolving to do any of these things. I never really make resolutions, because when I have, I have not taken them seriously. Instead, I am making changes for 2009 and for the years to come. I am starting these things this year, but plan to continue them every year. I know that the biggest one for me will be my health and getting myself into a better situation. It will be the hardest for me and the one that I will need the most support on. It is too easy for me to say I'm too tired to work out or that I'm too hungry to diet, so I need to be pushed to continue to work hard. Hopefully, I will be able to set small goals for myself and make it easier to reach my goals for my weight loss and exercise.

I wish all of you the best for 2009 and I thank you all for being a part of our lives! Here are a few pictures from Christmas!

This was Christmas morning, the sled was filled with all of the gifts from Santa for Ethan. It even included the one thing he asked Santa for, Clipo! He was so impressed that Santa ate his cookie and drank all of his milk!

This was the biggest gift that Micah got, grandma Young got him a Bumbo! He even had a slight smile for the picture. He can only be in it right now for just a few minutes, but it will be a great thing for him in the coming months. He really likes the few minutes he gets, because he loves sitting up!